The father’s artistic talent is clearly on display here, but I’m actually really impressed with this kid’s wild imagination. Many of his drawings are both conceptually unique and coherent.
I had no idea giant porcupines made fucking precious sounds
THAT’S THE SOUND IT MAKES!?!?!?
UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE
We got asked if this is cute and okay. I can very happily say yes, this is stupid cute and those are happy porcupine noises.
One of my favorite things about doing zoo work was all the noises you never realize the animals make when they’re excited or interested in a new thing. Coatimundis squeak and snuffle, and giant porcupines make that sound.
Omgggg the sounds.
Teddy is back on my dash and all is right with the world
So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5'2" girl.
Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.
I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.
Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.
Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet
This reminds me of the time I accidentally sacrificed my boyfriend by using him as a human shield.
Like, at the time I hadn’t yet worked at a haunt, but I enjoyed them, and I was going through a “look how stoic and badass” phase. So I’m doing great, and he had me hanging on to his belt for his benefit.
Which is how it came to be that someone jumped out at just the right angle, and I just reflexively pulled him into meat shield position.
Which, okay, not a great look.
It might have been forgivable if I didn’t follow up by losing him in a maze fifteen minutes later…
About half an hour BEFORE this happened, I got so scared I tried running the other way right at the exit, so my date was trying to pull me back and out the door but instead he just kept slamming me into the doorframe
When I worked a haunt we had a family come through with a little boy who was absolutely TERRIFIED. My coworkers had warned me ahead of time to go easy on him. So instead of popping out of my curtain as they passed, I came out into the hallway and waited for them. I crouched down on the little boy’s level, and when he saw me I waved him over, creepy but friendly as you please. I’m 5'4" and was only about 100, 110 pounds at the time, so not exactly threatening, even to a kid. He looks skeptical and a little afraid, but approaches me anyway. And I lean in and, still in my character voice, stage-whisper “If ye give me yer mam, I’ll let ye go.”
Kid SCREAMS “TAKE HER!!!!” at the top of his lungs, shoves his mother at me, and takes off around the corner.
